I think I slept too much this evening. Now I'm hungry and I can't sleep :( I was reading my old blog and I realised how much things have changed. I was a happier person. At least 1 year ago, I was. Blogging about how much I missed him, how much I loved him and stuffs. But well, I guess it's not gonna be that way anymore. At least for some time =/

Ohwell, I'm glad I kept the blog, so glad that I read it and realise so much stuffs. I'm not gonna be so sad anymore. I'm gonna stay happy! Face problems, get upset, cry and get over it. Then, stay happy. Yups. I'm just gonna be like me last time. I was so happy-go-lucky. And I will be. Starting from now (:

And the days are going by so so soon. TOMMORROW. Will be CLS's grad party in school. I still can remember so clearly the very very first day I stepped into SP and met xixiang! Ohwell. Time flies. We're graduating!

if only, I could spend countdown with you this year

And I thought of you before I slept this morning. Still thinking about the good times and how maybe, things could be like that again.
When I bathed this morning, I used pantene for the shampoo. Reminds me so much about you. Then again, I thought about us.

Then things had to turn out the way, I never wanted it to be.

I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I was so tired today! As in, Monday. LOL. And I think jme and the rest thinks that I was a little cranky yesterday. Hahah I really don't know what were wrong with me. Ohwell. I guess it was just.. not destressed over the weekend. LOL. OHWELL~

And that was the first time I ran so much just jogging elective. LOL. I'm surprised. I shall do more next week! And subway after jogging was :D Considered the fact that I haven had subway for months! I still remembered how much I was craving for subway when I just came back from nz cos the subway there was damn niceeeee. And someone please remind me that I'm supposed to try turkey breast the next time I go there. LOL.

Came home and ZZZ fell asleep before 10 cos I was so so tired :( Heard my bro and maid talking but I was too lazy to get up. LOL. And here I am! Waiting for gawin to do his part for the ppt before I can go back to sleep in peace.

Just read a piece of not so good news :( Sigh. Ohwell, I guess things could have been worst so.. look on the bright side of life. Now that i'm thinking about it, I'm just wondering if my efforts would go down the drain. Argh. What an irony.

you were my energy booster, my motivation.
Now let me be yours.
<3

It's a sunday and I'm so bored at home :( Indulging myself into gossip girls and more gossip girls. Argh. My life seems to be just as complicated as theirs. LOL. Ohwell. I'm bored.

I'm going to the food fair later. Alone :( Then to another hall to expo to look for my dad.

I want to celebrate my birthday again so that it can be a memorable one. I almost forgot that that day actually just went past without any cake :(

I want a bouquet a flowers :(
I want someone to be with me :(
I want to go out
I want everything except unhappiness

argh.
I'm damn stupid.

It's a tiring day, and a tiring night. Somehow, I've decided to take it easy. Let things go with the flow. Take whatever comes and leave with it. No use forcing. Esp when it comes to love. Indeed love, it's a very very big word. I told my maid about something that happened recently and she told me something, which I didnt really expect to happen. Thought about and hmm, true.. Maybe it's cos of THAT. But maybe... it's cos of that? LOL. Ohwell. Thoughts, shant be published so publicly..

I absolutely loved it when I saw travis' blog which had this sentence
"Cass! Since you have quit clubbing… call me out for supper! Haha."

Speaking of which, I'm hungry. I still have half slice of strawberry oreo cheesecake. I think I should finish it before I officially lose all my tastebuds :( okay, but i've been craving for the meesua at geylang :( Wanted to go over but argh, i didnt have money with me and i didnt bring my license..

Speaking of which, I was just complaining to travis joel and hui shuen that MY LICENSE ISNT HERE YET :( Damn malu to go ard with that big piece of paper lahhhhh.

Gonna look for FOOD.
BYE.

Hot and Cold. Pains and Aches.
I'm feeling like I'm gonna die soon, like a patient in the ward.
Esp so with my laptop on my lap while I lie on bed, resting on a pillow on my back.
I really really hate this feeling.

My body's aching, my throat's damn pain.
I'm feeling cold yet my body's hot -.-

I shouldnt have ran in the rain! :(

argh. Hangover, and now the fever. Feeling like hot and cold, hot and cold, and my head's damn pain.
And I still feel like vomitting. No more vodka orange for me. Disgusted by the taste already.

Finally! Yesterday, it was finally to US finally formulating the perfect formulation for our fyp. Okay maybe not perfect but it was good! :D Then today it's FINALLY! Finally we did our sodium and calcium analysis and.... OUR DRINK IS 4TIMES HIGH CALCIUM! And according to Ms leong, for a healthier choice, sodium content has to be erm less than a hundred and our drink has less than hundred! Great man. When we saw the results we were like, WOOHOOOO. hahaha. Then jme and I went to look for Dr Owen cos Ms leong said she saw him! Ohwell, back to nz times! Esp when the lab was so cold today, I was wearing my jacket AND labcoat. So much like nz <3 And we saw lester too! Hahah still as blur.

Looks like our fyp's on track.

Okay, just when I finished typing the happy part. I have to be upset again.
I'm tearing. I'm controlling.

When I listen to this song, I really feel like screaming, shouting along with the song..

What about me
It isn't fair
I've had enough now I want my share
Can't you see
I wanna live
But you just take more then you give

argh I need a hug :(

Been listening to love songs the whole morning! Okay and maybe a little part of last night. I realised I can't go on this way. We need something to affirm us. But before we do that, I believe you need to decide on what you really want.

Having nutrition class right now, and I'm thinking about my ECU offer. Damn tempted to just accept it already. But I'm afraid if I do, i might get a better offer in a few weeks.. Seems like nutrition's the path for me right after poly so... I guess that's gonna be my future. Dad asked me the other day if I'm sure I'll be going out to work after I graduate. Instead of depending on my husband while I stay at home to look after the family. LOL. Because it's not worth the money sending me overseas and later, I end up not working. Hahaha. Ohwell, looking at situation now... I think I better go study to support myself (and my family) in the future! Hahaha. Like I told my parents. I don't want to depends solely on my hubbbbbbyyyyy! Hahah.

Ohwell, I feel so old and mature thinking about all these =X

end of class. Bye!

I drove to bedok, bought the fyp stuffs that I wanted, a couple of rubbish stuffs like YAMIE RICE. 3 for $7.60 (i think) And the main reason why I bought 3 was because it was on offer. Ohmy, so aunty -.- And when I was walking towards NTUC I was still thinking, what should I cook for dinner tonight? Then argh, I'm back in sg. NOT PALMY ANYMORE. Okay but I still cook my own dinner because I don't like what my maid cooks, sometimes =X hahaha.

Anyway I was insisting on getting chocolates for myself and my maid was pushing me and reminding me that I should get the more important stuffs. Hahaha. Well, I warned her about me going to the supermarket and buying rubbish.. so yea I asked her to control me. Looks like she didnt help much. Cos I ended up buying kitkat, which I've been craving for so long but now I've no appetite to eat it :( Instead, I'm craving for the e-royce chocolates that ron and zach got me for my birthday. Hahah I love my friends. At least they appreciate me! Not like -.-

And yes, the yamie rice. I bought yamie rice when I know, I probably wont have the chance to eat it cos when I'm at home, I cook porridge most of the time. Or else I'll just settle with whatever junk I can find. LOL. And it's no longer in nz and the fun to cook something new isn't there anymore cos I know I have my maid to help me do all the work. HAHAHA.

I just told ryan about BCM. And now I'm thinking about it, and the BCM days :( ohwell.
it's over cass! Don't think about it (: Besides, nick said that BCM's under renovation? :(

Okay, it's late and I need to do school work! I don't know what time to go school tml =X fyp in the morning?

I have my hair tied up the way I did it when I went to club for the last time. Now I wish my hair grows longer, faster!

my chest pain's here again :( This time it has been hurting me since like 1pm? I can't even breathe properly right now. I guess I heard something too devastating this morning that I couldnt sleep. even when I did, I keep having nightmares. 3 in a row and it's so so scary.. Woke up sweating and when I realised it was just a dream, i gradually just went back to sleep (but of course not taking my mind off that matter) then yea, nightmare again :(

Wished I could just go over and ask him to give me a hug but I know he's still damn mad at me.
sigh.

Everyone's moving on so fast, so steadily. And here I am waiting for the past 3 hours since 3 plus am until now for you. You didnt tell me where you went but I know. So tempted to just cab down to look for you but I know you'll kill me if I did because you probably don't like me there.

I'm gonna call you right after this post, i swear. For the past few hours I've been taking my hp and punched in your number but never dared to call.

ah fuck, i'm a retard i know. Cos you probably wont read this anymore.

Anyway, finally went to atlantis with them because he asked, you going meh? then somehow, ended up I went! LOL. It was so packed so smokey. then went for supper and ended to nana with him cj benson henry galvin wz and wl as usual. Goodness, each time I go there I look around and I wonder if I'll see jme's best friend. Hahhaa. Afterall, it was her who introduced that place to me. LOL. Saw BB there! Hello girl I'm still waiting for you to upload the pics! HAHA. Drove them back to amk later on for breakfast and ARGH. Something happened in the car that made me cry like shit with my eyeliner and mascara on. Damnit.

Slept around 10 plus 11 and woke up at 4plus. Prepared and went down to tanjong pagar to meet my parents for dinner. I wanted to cab down lor :( then I decided I should just be late and save money. End up, my parents were later -.- HENG AH. hahah. Dinner was at this chinese restaurant and food was... so so? Didnt really like it there. Only food nice was the steamed pomfret. I love fish! :D

Ended to katong then home and I was feeling so :( cos I really didnt want to stay home at all. ARGH. Ended up I attempted to do my work but fell asleep and I think now, he's angry, again :(

Woke up feeling damn pissed off with myself and I started to think think think then. EH I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING. Tried it and WOOHOO. Successful on my 2nd try. :D Happy like a monkey! Hahah. Continue discovering even more and i got from happy to happier to upset to :(:(:(:(:(

ARGH IM HUNGRY. Gonna call him now!